Reply to me..GOD

i always dreambut i never believe..

i always thought on how things will work out, but it never did

i always aim on top, but then im the last..

i always knew that it will be bad, but it was worst..

i always plan things, but it was going out of my way..

i always hold on to them, but its them who pull me out..

im always building this hope, but its them who's destroying it..

i cant do more, coz im so tired living a life like this..this life has never been good to me..i smiled, but i cried more, i gain, but i lose more..is there another thing that will be given to me? oh please stop it..my life's not stable..it never been..

i want to settle things down,i want to be at peace..all these problems bothering me..i want them to vanish, crush them in my hands..and throw them in the wind.. i want silence..peace..in mind and heart..

but then things are just repeating itself,..not maybe tomorrow, but in the future.. not maybe now,but later..things will repeat itself and there's no way out of the cycle..how? how can i believe that you're still there? pls reply to me..GOD.